Monday, April 5, 2010

Frustration

Before you read the rest of this blog entry I need to make it clear that I love my children and I wouldn't trade them for anything in this world.
For the last 3 weeks or so, maybe even longer Julie has been waking up in the middle of the night at least 3 or 4 times, and for at least one of those times she will cry and cry and cry for at least an hour before she finally falls asleep again. It is so frustrating and I just don't know what to do. I want to beat the crap out of her because then I know why she is crying, but I never would do that. I want to cry because I am tired and there is nothing that I can do to calm her down and to stop her tears but crying wont amount to anything either.
Last night was horrible!!! Julie woke up numerous times, but around 3:30 a.m. she woke up and would not stop crying. I had gone to bed at midnight because I was trying to spend some time with James and so I was completely exhausted. I have tried using the Calms sleeping tablets for kids, I have tried using Teething Tablets and I have tried using a bottle. Nothing works!!!! ARGH!!!!!!!!! I finally got fed up with it after 30 minutes of crying and I put her in her play pen and left the room. (James was with Emjae taking care of her) I went to the front room and watched the last 30 minutes of Food Challenge Sponge Bob cakes. Julie was still crying when I went back in there and I had calmed down some so I held her and after another 20 minutes she finally went to bed.
Julie makes me not want to have any more kids. I know that it is just but a short period of time and that my thinking isn't correct. I know that there will be more children to come, but after pure exhaustion from not getting sleep and then dealing with a crying baby and taking care of Emjae I some time wonder how single mothers do it and if I just have the most crying baby in the world.
I do love Julie, and I wish I knew why she cried as much as she does. I wonder if people living around me think I am such a horrible mom because they always hear crying coming from my apt, but at the same time I really could care less. I try and I try, that is all that I can do.
Julie please get over this crying stage!!!! and ASAP!!!!!!

3 comments:

Andrea said...

Oh cindy, We've had our frustrating nights too, ones when I just give up and rock Mags back to sleep while his dad lets out his frustration on Mario cart and I just hope that my son forgets it all so we don't have a repeat the next night. Hang in there I know it's tough but you're a good mom!!

Theodora Salanoa said...

Ooohhhh Julie..... Momma gone knock you out pretty soon....lol.... I have no idea what this may be like for you and I'm sorry to hear that you are just so exhausted. Hope all gets well pretty quick. Preferably before May 1st...lol...

amazon_mom said...

Cindy, My heart goes out to you. It is a challenge to take care of a crying baby. It wears you down, and makes you wonder why in the world you chose this. BUT.. then comes that special smile just for you, or the sweet angelic look on her face when she finially gets to sleep. Or the messey face from icing on the cake or spagatti.. :) or both. I am a believer in loading them up on motrin or tylonal and if you have it, gas medicine. I don't know all the answers, but I know that Em got used to me getting her when she made a small wimper. I had to eventually ignore her so she would learn to just go back to sleep. it took time. It is different in an apartment, because it is close quarters. hang in there I know how you feel about being done with kids, you had them very close, it WILL get better. It is OK and NORMAL to feel how you are feeling. Every mom feels that way at some point. (even if they don't admit it.) Just try to see the cute, fun moments to get you through the tough ones. look at their baby pics, it will make you fall in love with them all over. I love you and hang in there. Laura