update on Julie

To be honest there isn't really anything to update on. She is still inside of me and she is still not wanting to come out.
After being induced and in the hospital for 9:30 hours or so the doctors said nothing was changing and I wasn't dialating. My dr came and said I have 3 options. I can continue to try and be induced but because nothing was happening it could cause more harm to me and or the baby. The 2nd option was to do a c-section, but he didn't really want to since there was no medical reason and since I was still just 39 weeks. The 3rd was to send me home, and well thats what he did.
The last 3 hours of being there I was having really bad back pain. But I toughed it out and I guess its a good thing since they sent me home. I did really good not crying at the hospital, but as soon as we got home needless to say I was exhausted and drained both physically and mentally. I haven't been sleeping well for the past week now and then going through the "come on in and lets have a baby" and going home with nothing but contractions still and pain because of the pitocin isn't the best thing in the world.
I went to the dr's office two days later which was yesterday and we were hoping that because of the long time my uterus had been contracting that maybe it would through my body into doing it on its own and I would dialate. But I have now given up on my body dialating. The dr said nothing has changed and that he will see me monday. Monday will be 1 day before my 40 weeks and so he said that they will try and be more aggressive with trying to get me into labor. Which I am thinking means that we will try to induce again next week and this time we will break my water.
I am just coming to the conclusion that my body wants to stay a human incubator as long as possible. I went 42 weeks with emjae and it took 15 hrs to get her out and even then I was unpregnant for only a short period of time before I became an incubator again.
I am doing okay right now though. I just have come to the realization that I wont go into the hospital unless my water breaks, because then I know for sure that no one is sending me home.