Saturday, December 11, 2010

Bumps in the road

I swear I will get around to a new post with pictures and everything, but I just wanted to write for a minute or two.
All you women that are wives and mothers I think will know what I am talking about for these few short minutes.
You know those times when things are just "off" in your marriage. It's not like you are turned off but things just aren't right? Well James and I have had a few weeks of being off. It has become difficult for us to connect. We were trains and a train station. He had his work train, then make his stop at the station to catch his connecting train to being a Ward Mission Leader, then make a stop at the station for food and rest. While I am at the station all day and once or twice a week get on a train and leave him at home so I can fulfill my calling as Young Women's Secretary.
We talked about this last weekend and realized we need to try and find more us time, and then we had another few days that went down hill. Nothing terrible, but nothing great and grand either. We talked again last night and had our disagreements and our sad times and my tears time (I'm emotional). It finally hit me that we are both being so selfish!! The only things we were concerned about were what we wanted to do and didn't care if it was helping out the other or making things easier for the other. Besides that we are always focused on the kids and their needs. We have stopped doing those kind things for the other unless we are asked and the special anythings don't happen.
Talking last night helped us realize we still have work and where we need to turn some of our energy too, which isn't always the easiest to have extra energy after a full day of work (wether outside or inside the home), church callings, and children. Realizing and acknowledging is the first step. And we are taking that first step together.
Some may think, why are you posting this, but everyone goes through these times and its nice to know that you aren't the only one.
I am grateful that even though there were tears and sadness that we were able to come to a realization and a solution to fix the problem. I'm glad that I am in a marriage that still needs work, I think if we had this marriage thing down after less than 3 years than there would be no excitement or opportunity to grow.
I love my husband, and my kids!! I wouldn't trade them for the world!!

2 comments:

Monty and Kristin said...

Life is sure crazy and I agree...marriage takes work. But the best things in life take work. It's keeping it important and always talking. We can't afford to go out on dates right now, but time we spend talking sure helps. You'll be blessed for your service to the Lord. Lets all enjoy WORKING on our marriages! However, those girls really need to sleep a little so you guys can snuggle on the couch and watch a movie. That helps too!:)

Theodora Salanoa said...

As I read this I was thinking.... "OMG, I completely understand how that feels." Proud to say that I don't feel that way anymore, but I'm happy you guys were able to talk things through. We tend to become so overwhelmed with everything that is going on that we forget the small things. I was feeling the same exact way early last year. Uchtdorf gave a talk which was really helpful in the priesthood session during the April 2009 conference called "We Are Doing a Great Work and Cannot Come Down." TJ and I still listen to it as a reminder. Hope everything works out. Love ya:)